Of Snacks and Aliens

“Okay,” Crush said as she picked up a travel mug from a table laden with them in her quarters within Titans Tower.  “Where’s this one from?”

“Oh, come on, that’s easy,” Voivode said, grinning.  “It’s green, and it has an arrow on it, which is also green.  Star City!”

“Got it in one,” Crush replied, reaching for another mug.  “How about this one?”

“Are those… antennae?!  Those weird eyes – I know!  Bug-Eyed Bandit!  Ivy Town!” 

“Ooh… buzz!  Sorry, but no.  Good guess, though… it’s from Ambush Bug’s Amazing Ambush Arena in Metropolis. He… tried running an Escape Room there last year.  Didn’t work out well.  Things got a little explody until Supergirl stepped in.”

“Seriously?  You have an Ambush Bug travel mug.  I… did not expect that,” Voivode said, shaking her head in disbelief.

“I’m like an onion, I have layers,” Crush replied.  

“You also can make people cry like an onion, but with punches, not odors.”

“Nice.  Let’s see… ah.  This one. You’ll never get it.”

“Hm.  It’s covered with the word “Ha” and has a big cartoon grin.  I wanna say it’s Joker… Gotham… but the color scheme’s wrong. Joker’s all about the purple and green, but that’s… yellow and orange…  I give up.  Where’s that one from?”

“Delta City,” Crush said, looking smug.  “Home of… the Heckler.”

“The who now?  You made that up!  It’s a Joker knock-off mug from some Gotham street vendor!”

“No, he’s real, I swear!  Look it up online,” Crush said, grinning. “He even has a rogues gallery – like the Four Mopeds of the Apocalypse!”

“Boo.  I want a rogues gallery! I mean, I had a nemesis for a while, but she reformed,” Voivode said, shrugging. 

“Lucky. Mine’s very much alive, and also happens to be my father, so… yeah. Count your blessings.”

“Oof, sorry about that,” the young Kaznian replied. “Didn’t mean to be a buzzkill.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Crush said.  “Let’s go get some coffee and heat up whatever leftover pizza’s in the fridge.  I’m starving.”

“Me too!  Raven had me doing training exercises all morning!  I slept in, so I missed breakfast. She wouldn’t even let me grab a granola bar.  I think she hates me.”

“Naw, she doesn’t hate you, she’s just… Raven. The whole goth thing, ya know?  And you wanna talk about problematic fathers… Raven wins that one every time! Though that girl – what’s her name?  It’s a g-word… Glorith?  No, not her…  Goddess?  

“Grail, Voivode replies as the duo entered one of the break rooms in Titans Tower.  “The daughter of Darkseid.

“Yes! That’s her.  She’s a contender in the “Worst Dad Ever” contest for sure!”

“Oh, definitely.  Having Darkseid for a dad can’t be easy.  Can you imagine what holiday dinners are like for them?”

“Pass the cranberry sauce, Grail… and why haven’t you conquered Earth yet, Grail? I’m not mad, just… disappointed,” Crush said as she opened the fridge and peered at the selection of cold pizza within it… and proceeded to grimace in disgust.  

“Oh.  Oh, hell no,” Crush muttered.  “I am not eating that!”

“Let me guess - the only pizza left in there is one of Starfire’s favorites.”

“Yup. Topping selections include theater candy, deep fried tapioca pudding balls, and lime slices… with mustard for the sauce!  This… isn’t a break room.  It’s a crime scene.”

“Ugh, yeah, pass,” Voivode said.  “Hey, there’s this parking lot in the city with all kinds of food trucks.  Let’s go hit that and find something that isn’t a crime against the culinary arts!”

“Aren’t you on time out for trips to the city,” Crush asked.  “Because you curse like a Khundian sailor?”

“Please, I don’t curse that much!  And why does that even matter, anyway?”

“I dunno… I think it’s got something to do with setting a good example for people. I mean – you ever hear Superman cuss?  Or Wonder Woman?”

“No.  You’re right,” Voivode said. “I suppose I should cut back on cursing. Maybe Raven won’t have me doing cardio training at five in the morning if I do.”

“Maybe,” Crush replied. “Hey, let’s ditch. We can be in and out of the food truck lot before anyone knows we’re gone!”

“Sweet. Last time I went there was a Kaznian food truck!”

“Oh, yeah? Did they have those weird cabbage rolls with meat and rice inside ‘em?”

“Yep!  Sooo good.  Let’s go!”

“Okay, what the hell was that,” Crush said, looking around the break room warily. “I swear, if this is another Beast Boy prank…”

“Look!  Outside!  What’s up with the sky?!”  Voivode pointed out of a nearby window, toward a shimmering energy field over the tower, and the surrounding area.

“That… is trouble,” Crush replied. “The kind that needs to be punched.  A lot.”

An alert klaxon started to sound within the tower.  A moment later, a dark, mystical portal in the shape of a bird filled the room near the two young heroes… followed by the creator of said portal.  Raven.

“We are under attack,” Raven said in a matter-of-fact tone. “Cyborg believes the aggressors are extra-terrestrial in origin.”

“Aliens,” Voivode said.  “We’re being attacked by #$%^& aliens?!”

“Language,’ Raven replied dryly.  “And yes, that seems to be the case.  Suit up, both of you. Crush, report to the S.T.A.R. Labs facility nearby. It is under attack.  Voivode… report here in two minutes. You’re with me - there are reports of a medical facility being hit as well.”

“Oh. This is it,” Voivode exclaimed, grinning at Crush. “This is real!  My first mission as a Titan!”

“Looks that way,” Crush replied. “Get it out of your system – I know you wanna say it.”

“Damn right I do,” Voivode said. “TITANS TOGETHER!” 

“One minute, thirty seconds,” Raven said.  “And yes.  Titans… together.  Now go. People need our help.”

“It’s alien punching time,” Crush said, grinning.  “Good luck, new kid!”

“You too.  Cabbage rolls later, though, okay?”

“Definitely.  Now go before Raven puts a hex on you or something.”

The two young heroes departed to prepare for action, leaving a slightly bemused Raven in their wake.  May their enthusiasm not blind them to the dangers we are about to face, she thought to herself.